At the Movies
by Sir Miles
Summary: The FFVII gang decides to go to the movies. What should be a mundane experience turns out to be a humorous adventure!


DISCLAIMER: Again?? I own rights to the movie Death Sentence III. Everything else in this story is not mine (except for the creative genius, of course)!  
  
AT THE MOVIES ****************  
  
One day, Cloud and the gang decided to go to the movies. They all piled into the truck and drove to the local theater. Now they are waiting in line to buy their tickets.  
  
Aeris: So, what are we going to see, guys?  
  
Barret & Vincent: (in unison, jumping into the air) "Death Sentence III!"  
  
Aeris: Oh...  
  
Yuffie: I wanna see "The Mummy Returns Again" - that Brendan Fraizer is so HOT!! (Grabs Cid and begins dancing around)  
  
Cid: (shrugs Yuffie off) Get off me! I don't dance. (To Aeris) I wouldn't mind seeing "October Sky." I heard it's about rockets.  
  
Aeris: Well, I wanted to see "An Enchanted Summer." It's this really sweet love story...(sighs and smiles)  
  
Tifa: That's what I want to see too!  
  
Barret: Oh, come on! "Death Sentence III" is the best! Intense action!!! Yes! (Hi-fives Vincent)  
  
Red XIII: Um, Barret, I don't think the girls would like it that much...  
  
Yuffie: Does it have any cute guys in it?  
  
Vincent: ....?  
  
Cait Sith, who has been reading the movies display board, comes up.  
  
Cait Sith: Hey, you guys! Why don't we all go see what we wanna see. We can meet back here later!  
  
Tifa: That's a great idea! Let's go tell Cloud.  
  
They walk towards the counter. Just as they arrive, Cloud turns to call them, a smile on his face.  
  
Cloud: You won't believe it!! They had tickets!! I got one for all of you. This is gonna be so great!!  
  
There is an awkward pause.  
  
Red XIII: Well, Cloud, actually we all decided to go to separate movies, then meet back here later. That is okay with you, right? I mean, the tickets are refundable and everything... (As he spoke, Cloud's face dropped) ...What's wrong, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: Um...the tickets aren't refundable, Red. But that's okay!! (He perks up again.) You'll love the movie, I know it!  
  
Cait Sith: What is it?  
  
Cloud: (triumphantly) "The Annual, Northern Migration of the Almost Extinct But Not Quite, Very Infamous Banderfrogs."  
  
Cid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  
  
As they move to the ticket collector, Barret (who has cheered up somewhat) explains to Red XIII how the whole ticket-thing works.  
  
Barret: It's really easy, Red. You just hand the woman the ticket, and she tears off this half here, and you keep the other half. Allow me to demonstrate. (He marches purposefully up to the woman and hands her his ticket.  
  
Ticket Woman: (distracted) Thank you, the theater's on your right...Hey!! (Yells at Barret as he is walking through) You can't bring weapons in here!  
  
Red XIII: (to himself) That looked easy enough...(places his ticket on the counter by the woman)  
  
Ticket Woman: (angry) Thank you, the theater is on...Oh, no you don't!! NO pets allowed in the theater either!!! (Turns to run after Red XIII, but stops at a tap on her shoulder.)  
  
Cait Sith: Excuse ma'am, but there is quite a long line here. (The ticket woman turns around, sees Cait Sith, and faints.)  
  
Now the group is waiting at the concession stand to get their food.  
  
Cloud: I'll order!  
  
Cid: I don't think so. (He moves to the cash register to order.) Okay, what does everybody want?  
  
Aeris: An Icee for me, please.  
  
Yuffie: Me too! And a hot dog-with relish.  
  
Cid: Icee, hot dog. Got it! Anyone want popcorn?  
  
Cait Sith: Me!!  
  
Red XIII: Sure.  
  
Barret: Aw, I don't care...Get me anything. (He is in the corner being comforted by Vincent)  
  
Vincent: You know, maybe the movie won't be too bad. There could still be some violence or something...  
  
Barret: (sighs) Maybe...  
  
Tifa: I want a bag of Gummi Bears.  
  
Cid: Do you want anything, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: Hmmm...Let's see. I think I want nachos. No! A hot dog, with relish, like Yuffie's.  
  
Cid: Got it. (Turns to cashier) Okay, we'll have two hot dogs, both with relish, a-  
  
Cloud: Wait! I don't want a hot dog! I want popcorn.  
  
Cid: Okay, make that one hot dog with relish, five popcorns, two Icees, and a bag of Gumm-  
  
Cloud: STOP!! I decided I don't want popcorn - it gets stuck in my teeth. Just gimme a soda.  
  
Cid: ....Okay. Change the five popcorns to four, and add a Coke.  
  
Cashier: Is that all?  
  
Cid: Yes.  
  
Cloud: No! I want...umm....  
  
Cid: FINE! Get him a bag of Whoppers!! (Plunks money down on the counter) I don't CARE if you like them or not!  
  
Cloud: Hey!! That's just what I wanted!!  
  
The group has finally found their seats and are busy watching the pre- previews previews and answering the trivia.  
  
Tifa: Oh, that one's easy! Everyone knows that Leonardo DiCaprio was named after the great Leonardo da Vinci.  
  
Aeris: Of course not! He was named after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Leonardo! I saw it on the news.  
  
Red XIII: Actually, I believe that the turtle was named after the painter.  
  
Yuffie: So you're both right!  
  
Tifa & Aeris: Cool!  
  
Cloud: (muttered to himself) I always thought Michelangelo was better, myself. He had nunchucks.  
  
Vincent: Quiet! I heard somebody coming.  
  
(**Note to reader: Until this time, the group has been the only people in the theater. Despite Cloud's insistence on the popularity of the movie, no one else seems to feel the need to see it.**)  
  
Cait Sith: Should we fight?  
  
Barret: All right! Action time!  
  
Cid: Quiet, fool! Do you want to give us away? (Turns to Cloud) What should we do, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: Hmm...We should probably move up to the top of the theater so they won't see us when they come in, just to be on the safe side. Let's crawl up the stairs in the aisle. Be sure to keep below the level of the chairs. Follow me. (He moves to the end of the row and drops to the floor, crawling slowly upwards.)  
  
Yuffie: I love skulking!!  
  
As they move up the aisle, the voices in the hallway get louder. It sounds like several people.  
  
Aeris: (whispered) Hey, that voice sounds familiar...  
  
Tifa: Just keep climbing.  
  
They finally reach the top row of chairs, and plop down, exhausted. Down below, they can see six people sitting near the front.  
  
Cid: That's them.  
  
Cait Sith: (to Barret) Are they dangerous?  
  
Barret: How should I know?!  
  
Cloud: Sshhhh! (They all look at him) The movie's starting!!  
  
Movie: It is early. As the morning glories open their golden faces to welcome the sun, the animal life comes forth. First the birds, with their piercing calls to spread word of a new day. Next come the deer, moving gently to the water hole to taste of the night's dew left there. Deep in the heart of the water hole stir the banderfrogs. Nestled safely under the mud, they have not yet arisen. They are...  
  
It is now half an hour later. Everyone but Cloud is bored out of their minds.  
  
Movie: The deep voice of the owl seems to say, 'Who will be my supper? Who?' It is time for the banderfrogs to continue their journey...  
  
Vincent: Got any threes?  
  
Red XIII: Go fish. Have any queens?  
  
Vincent: Man, how do you do that? That's the fifth pair you've gotten from me!  
  
Cloud: (trying to watch the movie) Can't you guys be quieter? This is a SUSPENSEFUL moment!!  
  
Vincent: ... ... ...  
  
Cloud: And YOU! (He turns to Barret, who is snoring loudly in the chair beside him. After a few attempts to wake him, Cloud give up, rising.) This is it! I am moving, so I can enjoy the movie in peace!! (He moves to the middle of the theater, halfway between the gang and the strangers.)  
  
Yuffie: Hey, Tifa! You wanna throw popcorn on Cloud?  
  
Aeris: (looking shocked) Yuffie! You shouldn't do that!! Use the gummi bears. And lick them first - so that they stick on impact.  
  
Tifa: (smiles)  
  
A little while later, Cloud is enjoying the movie in peace, while general chaos is happening above him.  
  
Stranger: Can I sit here?  
  
Cloud: (not looking up) Sure. (As the stranger sits, his bag of Skittles falls to the floor. Cloud picks it up, and looks at the stranger.) Here's your cand--  
  
Stranger & Cloud: It's you!!  
  
A commotion up above makes the stranger turn around.  
  
Stranger: And them!!  
  
Cloud: Of course. Who did you expect, Rufus? Now, if you came here planning to kill me, you are just going to have to wait, because I am watching a movie.  
  
Rufus: Oh, I didn't come to kill you, Cloud, though that would give me great pleasure. I, too, came to see the movie, as banderfrogs are a secret passion of mine.  
  
Cloud: Really?! Me too! I once had one named Lily, and she was green and gold, with blue eyes, and a... (Begins a lengthy conversation with Rufus)  
  
Meanwhile, Red XIII has gone looking for entertainment. He makes his way down the aisle, and stops to inspect the strangers from a safe distance.  
  
Red XIII: (to himself) Hmm, I know I recognize those people from somewhere...(he stares as revelation dawns on him)...SHINRA!!!  
  
Barret is awakened from sleep by Red's shout, and stands up just as Cid vaults over the seat behind him, knocking him down again.  
  
Barret: WHAT THE--?!!!  
  
Cait Sith: It's Rufus. And Elena, Scarlet, Tseng, Rude, and Reno. I wonder if they're here to see the movie?  
  
Barret: Well, let's go get 'em!! (He charges down the aisle.)  
  
At this point, a massive fight commences, as each group tries to annihilate the other. Tifa is on the point of ripping Scarlet's hair out when Cloud and Rufus notice what is going on. By now good friends, they break up the conflict and explain their newfound brotherhood. Due to their mutual interest in banderfrogs, they have decided to drop all hatreds and vendettas and start from scratch.  
  
Rufus: So, what about dinner Saturday at seven? Everyone's invited?  
  
Tifa: Sounds great!  
  
Rufus: Of course, you guys are paying. Red XIII: Oh, that's all right. We just let Cloud handle all the bills.  
  
Cloud: ...Thanks, Red. (The group leaves the theater.)  
  
Movie: ...As fortune falls, all of the banderfrogs have died from cold. But, deep in the snow, new eggs are waiting to hatch, so the baby banderfrogs can grow up and begin their own great migration. (Closing music plays as screen fades out.) 


End file.
